Lisa RubianoLet’s be real:
Medicine doesn’t reward you for being human. It rewards you for being perfect.
And if you’re a woman physician?
The pressure to be flawless doesn’t stop at the chart. It follows you home to your parenting, your partnerships, your inbox, your friendships, and even your body.
So it’s no wonder so many brilliant, high-achieving women feel like they’re running on fumes.
Perfectionism isn’t just a personality quirk.
It’s a survival strategy and one that’s wearing you down.
The Cost of Perfectionism? Burnout.
Burnout is rampant among women physicians and perfectionism is one of the sneakiest contributors.
According to Medscape, 60% of female physicians report feeling burned out.
That statistic isn’t surprising if you’ve ever found yourself:
- Overthinking your documentation
- Saying yes when you meant no
- Replaying a patient interaction in your head for hours
- Holding your breath until everything is “just right”
Perfectionism promises safety, control, even success. But it delivers stress, disconnection, and chronic dissatisfaction.
And most of all?
It robs you of joy.
Signs You Might Be Caught in the Trap
Let’s name it so we can change it. Here’s how perfectionism often shows up in women physicians:
- All-or-nothing thinking: “If this isn’t perfect, I’ve failed.”
- Overanalyzing: Spending hours on tasks that should take minutes.
- Fear of mistakes: Avoiding action because failure feels intolerable.
- Chronic people-pleasing: Saying yes to avoid disappointing anyone.
- Relentless self-criticism: No matter what you do, it never feels enough.
If you see yourself in any of these, you’re not broken.
You’re not “too sensitive.”
You’ve just been conditioned to believe your worth is tied to your performance.
Let’s unlearn that.
Rewriting the Story: From Perfectionism to Wholeness
Healing from perfectionism isn’t about doing more.
It’s about choosing differently.
It’s about coming home to yourself.
Here’s what that can look like:
1. Practice Self-Compassion
Ask yourself, “What would I say to a colleague I deeply respect if they were in my shoes?”
Then say that to yourself.
2. Set Realistic Goals
Instead of chasing perfect, aim for progress. Progress is human. Perfect is not.
3. Challenge the Inner Critic
When you notice harsh self-talk, pause. Ask, “Whose voice is this?”
Most often, it’s not yours it’s inherited from training, culture, or systems.
4. Reconnect with Gratitude
Start a practice of noticing what’s working not just what needs fixing. Let joy sneak back in.
5. Come Back to the Present
Mindfulness doesn’t have to mean 20 minutes of meditation.
It can start with one deep breath and a gentle hand to your heart.
Why This Work Matters
When you shift out of perfectionism, something radical happens:
You become more yourself.
And from that place, everything changes.
You find clarity.
You reclaim your energy.
You start to live and work in alignment—not obligation.
You don’t just survive medicine. You reshape it.
Want to Start Thriving? Here’s What Helps:
✨ Adopt a Growth Mindset
Mistakes aren’t failures—they’re feedback. That’s how we evolve.
✨ Set Boundaries
Your no is just as sacred as your yes. Protect what matters.
✨ Get Comfortable with Vulnerability
Real connection requires realness. The more authentic you are, the deeper the relationships get.
✨ Celebrate Small Wins
Notice. Acknowledge. Repeat. This rewires your brain away from perfectionism and toward joy.
✨ Shift the Inner Narrative
Instead of “I must be perfect,” try:
👉 “I’m learning to honor what’s real.”
👉 “I can be whole without being flawless.”
What’s Next?
If you’re done performing perfection and ready to reclaim your authentic self, you’re not alone.
This is exactly the journey we walk inside The House—my confidential community for women physicians navigating burnout, transitions, and what’s next.
🎯 Want to talk about what it could look like to finally live aligned with your truth—not someone else’s expectations?
Let’s chat @ Coffee Rounds
or
Download The First Clear Step: A WAI Clarity Reset for Women Physicians Reclaiming Themselves
You were never meant to do this alone.
Perfectionism was a survival skill.
Healing is a return to wholeness.
💎Freedom starts the moment you choose yourself.
Let’s begin.
❤️Lisa